有 梦 才 会 成 真 ！

Ya, a little. I noticed that. I'm actually like this since young.

--> hot tempered and gets irritated with small little things. Loves to complain a lot but e whole procedure will not last for 15 mins. also, i'll try to keep it inside for as long as i can. Now, it's a little different. Funny thing is, not that i can't control, but i purposely showed it. Thou, i did not do it directly but vent it on everyone in a way, i'm really sorry. i don't mean it. Have mercy on me as i'm jus confused n stuck in btween. Wantin to show that: "i'm angry," stop it! but yet i don't feel gd about showin it to that person directly.

Pls bare that in mind, if i chose to control my temper, it's never becos i'm scared to show.

I believe ppl who have great tolerance is really bcos they DO have great tolerance n not becos they're scared of this / that person / things / blah blah.

Its also becos they're jus a little "stupid" in a way, they don't wana make e whole atmosphere tense becos of their anger, and also bcos they don't wana spoil the relation.

But now i realise, by showin it to everyone, u're spoilin ur relations with not 1 person alone but everyone as well.

so now, i believe i'll change again.

Instead of gettin pissed, i was feelin smethin else tdae. a complete mixed feelin. Was it really my responsibility? or shld i at least take e initiative to ask?

so if i ask.. (shld i look at it at a "my responsibility" point of view / "just offering to help" point of view?)

in e past, i wld have jus ask n offer to help.

now, i've become a little selfish. I don't know how ppl see it. But i felt really sad or.. i don't know what is the right word to use.

maybe to thank god, i've realise my role is a piece of tissue paper.

I shld feel ashame when i say the word respect, cause i never knew this word even up till my sec sch days.

And yes ~`` i do admit up till now, i'm still learning and what i mean is to sincerely respect and not just pretend out of courtesy or mannerisms.

To me, if you sincerely respect, thou you might not like e look of a cake, e style of a dance, e nationality, e culture, e religion, whateva it is.

shut up and learn to appreciate it. U just have no likings and want to say it and annouce it to e whole world ~``

give constructive comment NOT sacarsm.

Take dance 4 example: you r doin ur thang and i'm doing mine. levels to me are unimportant, who cares about e levels. i care more bout what e students can learn. Thank god, ur students look pretty good in sme clips. Whether or not ur level is higher, is that even impt? cause i've got NO idea wat u're tryin to imply?

yet talking abt songs and levels, dissin about e dress code, you guys are wierd enough

Is this some kinda respect, did u even go back and refresh ur memory, sit down and analyse?

if u do know how 2 respect, u will not compare e levels as s'pore is diff frm where u cme from. we're a small island n dance scene is growing slowly.

Dress code? everyone have their own likings.

choice of song ~``` i don't take it THAT seriously, cause yes ` u can't feel it, u don't really like it, it's oka. Our stye is already diff, preference on songs - unlikely e same.

worse still, u did e most ridiculous thing to post on utube affecting not me alone, but e place i'm dancin. Yet, u came over to dance and say u love the place?

yea `` ~ i see e way u work, and sadly to say: u are tryin too hard to maintain a gd relation.

worse of all, u know no respect.

Really ~` i DON'T want to stereotype, but the people i've met `almost ALL of them are under e same category.

next, somethin interestin happen just now...

this 2 wierd women plus a guy quarreling in 7-11. i really like " what e ??!!! " u shld see how they curse n swear.

completely remind me of e "ah lian" days in my sec sch. back then, aaaaaaa ` we're 13, young kids. Do you know how old are they? Maybe late 30s?

really, irritatin to e max when they curse and swear in a public place. e most funny scene award Goes to : Black beanie lady.

she take camera out suddenly, video e other woman. u say wierd anot lah she? AND why e workers in 7-11 didn't do anythin bout it?!

don't wanna get involve right. But seriously, what if they fight? and they broke ur glass stuff? and also, accidents happen, sme 1 injured? Hei? Allegra? Me? or strangers that we don't know? They bleed and die? it's ur place, 7-11, a store and MORE! or mall? can take care of it? cme to think of it, they are not e wierd 1s, but e ppl in charge of that place. Completely ignore.

I don't really give a damn, how early or late you cme in. How much you really did, cos we will neva know. N who are we to really judge?

Yes, it's true ` cos there are way too many things that can be seen with our naked eyes. naked naked naked.

I'm either a hypocrite, or juz plain stupid. Or maybe i'm neither both. Cos i don't even know what i am.

I don't really want to fall, cos i believe in him. Yet, i don't understand wat ppl are really thinkin at times.

I need him to enlighten me. But each time, when i hope 4 that, no answer cld b heard. No response. no nth

Then, slowly i believe, he had responded but i failed to see. N that is why i used e word - enlighten frm e start. I need him to enlighten me!

Ans is there frm e start, and yet, i still chose to ignore. Now i see e ans, n yet i chose not to accept it.

Anyway, i believe there are ppl who don't understand wat e hell i'm thinkin as well.

n herrrreeeeee i ammmmmmm complaininnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

That is what i feel about him:

e work he's doing rite now.

e way he contributes to the family

e way he say he cares

n nez e way he say he have his own "needs"

so wat bout me? e rest? n e others? every1 have their needs too.

tat was e bez part which i can't understand yet when he says "i have my needs too." i kept my mouth shut. i felt a tight slap on my face! i woke up. can i say he is selfish? come to think of it, mayb not. cos it's human nature ` if i'm him, n i earn like him, i might pamper myself too, before feelin a need to do smethin else for others. If only he includes us as part of his plan, rather than he himself, alone in his own plan.

sad thing ish ~` i owaez look up to him. but now, i'm not too sure. he's like a complete stranger. he have temperaments, just like e work he's doin rite now.

i'll juz have to keep a cool ~~` OOSSSSHHHH!

I juz shoot a HUGE bomb in the middle of e nite. Neglectin e fact that everyone, includin my neighbors are sleepin peacefully. Yes, i admit i'm selfish. For tat moment, i shld' have juz controlled n not sae a word. Why did i retaliate, cos i hate it when ppl accuse me and worse still, give me a "TITLE" of lyin. She is e one who owaez fail to hear or remb what ppl have said. It doesnt bother me much only when she starts accusin. She is owaez like this for the past (how many yrs), so i noe ~`` treatin her like an opera singer is e best way out. Yet, i still retaliate, hoping for ONCE, she will admit she forgot. Still, its the usual endin ~``` here comes my dark circlessss

I guess there is a reason why i have mostly the word - DOCtOR in the "telepathy" game. As i get 2 c how e Spore hospitals work, i'm juz amazed. If somethings cld be done earlier, it will not get any worse. Talk bout my eyes, if u eva see the pupils, u will go : WHAT?!! When i woke up 2 days ago, n notice e small little white dots under my pupil, i juz wana puke. Seriously, i pray hard its not cornea infection / what so eva. Maybe its jus a sign of recovery? Still, i feel the doctors cld have done a lil more. Im not convinced that is all dey can do.

i'm worried. Or mayb ~` i just feel.. it's a pity, Not being able to know more. It's unnecessary, i know. Yet, there are times when we'll owaez tink back N start to wonder ~ what will happen if we didnt do this or that, or even say certain things we shouldn't have. Or mayb there are times when we SHLD stand up for sme1 and yet we tot by keeping quiet, things will get better? Also, times when we blurt things out N causes a biggg commotion. Things do happen for a reason, but there are times ~ i don't understand or see the reason behind. Mayb that's when ppl will start to get pissed of, not with other ppl. But weirdly, pissed off with themselves. I believe every1's "lesson fees" are different? If Miss A have to pay (a bomb) to learn her lesson, Mr B might only have to pay (a grenade). Who cares how much u need to pay? Cos i care more bout ~` "what u've learnt?" You fell once ~` are u wiser now? HK he says, there he goes again.